"Do These Every Day, and You Will Be a 'Successful' Urban White-Collar Worker"

Grandma Shao has always said that we are the invisible poor, but recently there’s a more respectable term for it: price-sensitive consumers.

Inspired by this, we have summarized a "survival guide" necessary for "successful" white-collar workers.

/ Energy Regulation Nutritional Liquid / Definition: A liquid that can quickly induce a cerebral climax. From Miss Li in Huangpu: If I go out without makeup today, I’ll just drink casually. If I’m made up, I have to be careful when drinking so my lipstick doesn’t smudge; if my lipstick stays intact, then I can drink boldly, after all, my looks are also supported by milk tea. Single Miss Zhang: Twenty bucks can buy me a moment of real happiness. Boyfriend? What’s the use? Intern Xiao Wang: Look at the designer girl next door; the client said to add light to the button, and she really added "light" to it. Young people really can’t hold their horses. Just give me a cup of milk tea, and I can maintain a fake smile all day. Overtime worker Miss Liu: I recently read an article saying that one cup of milk tea is equivalent to three cups of coffee. No wonder I feel like I’ve lived an extra day every time I drink it at night; this way, I can scold my boss for an extra day.

/ Specific Time Excitement Relief Pill / Definition: A pill that can quickly induce a drowsy state at specific times without side effects. A few days ago, on October 24th, Ah Qiang’s company in Zhangjiang announced a half-day holiday, and he happily went home early. Ah Qiang has been at the company for a year and has grown very quickly; the leaders have high hopes for him. Ah Qiang has not disappointed them, especially with his hairline. After getting off work early, Ah Qiang returned home and found himself unable to sleep. He remembered the melatonin he bought from the life-winner goddess Xiaofang on his social media. Xiaofang told him that melatonin is a hormone secreted by the pineal gland in the brain, which regulates the body’s sleep rhythm. Generally, middle-aged and elderly people have insufficient melatonin secretion, and it can be supplemented appropriately to improve sleep. Take one, and you’ll feel drowsy. Take two, and you’ll merge with the bed. Take three, and you’ll chat with the King of Dreams all night. Remembering that the goddess wanted him to sleep well, he happily closed his eyes.

/ Mindset Fat Loss Meal / Definition: A food that allows you to have a six-pack without exercising. Little Li from next door saw her friend flaunting her six-pack on social media and thought, that flashy girl is at it again trying to attract men. If I lose weight, I’ll definitely be prettier than her. I’m a little fairy after all. Secretly deciding to start dieting today! First, change my profile picture. Then, get a gym membership for hot yoga, lying down, spinning, Pilates… but none of that matters; I need to eat well to have the energy to lose weight. First, take a good photo, sprinkle some salad dressing, and then have some afternoon tea. What should I write for the caption on social media?

/ Alcohol-Free Gossip Venue / Definition: A place where office colleagues can quickly unite on the same front. Office: Candice, don’t be upset; let’s go buy Starbucks. / Ah, Julia, I’m so tired; let’s go to Starbucks! / Frank: I heard Starbucks has new products; let’s eat well and take a stroll. Bar: Lily, look, there are new decorations again; I’ll buy a card; there’s a buy-one-get-one-free coupon. / Do I look like someone who drinks sweetened Americano? Change my drink to unsweetened. Round table: Let me tell you, that receptionist Candy plays on her phone all day at work until it’s time to leave. They don’t fire her; look at us, working like dogs; she must be having an affair with the boss. / Last time I saw Aiko with an old man; that old man looks like that, can he still perform? That bitch always flaunting herself; she’s just a cheap bus. / Daisy, her boyfriend texted me to ask me out; he’s such a jerk. Should I tell Daisy to see the true colors of that scumbag? Kitchen: You guys have been chatting for over two hours; don’t you have to work?

/ Social Recognition Badge / Definition: A type of energy that allows you to quickly see your social value. Lucky: So annoying, every day so many friends ask me to help them gather energy; I don’t know who to help. If I help Emma, Ava won’t have a spot. Sigh, it’s so frustrating. Having too many friends can sometimes be a burden. Sarah: That Grace sends me energy requests every day; it’s so annoying. Look at her ugly face; she must not have many friends, so she can only bother her colleagues. Evelyn: I don’t understand what this team battle PK is about every day; how much can you save on Double Eleven? A bunch of poor people; what’s the point of scraping this wool? With so many people in China, how much can ten billion be divided into? Angelina: Look at them having so much fun sending messages back and forth. Every time, my husband helps me clear my Double Eleven shopping cart; it’s really annoying. There’s not even a bit of normal social interaction; it’s so boring!

Here’s a topic for everyone: share this Yang Chaoyue; you can get third place without effort. How can we elegantly refer to this behavior?

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