"Happiness Can Actually Be Very Simple"

This article is Lu Canwei's 46th original piece.

Click the blue 【Lu Canwei】 above to follow; remember to add a ⭐️ star mark~

Today is Valentine's Day, wishing everyone a happy Valentine's Day.

Back to the topic, today I came across an interesting point in a book recommended by the director, "Think Like a Philosopher."

Like many times, when we encounter setbacks, many friends will advise you to be more optimistic and think positively.

So, is negative thinking completely wrong?

First of all, have you ever thought that no matter how much we try to prevent bad things from happening, some bad things will still occur?

At this time, when bad things happen, who suffers the most? It is those who only expect good things to happen.

If we cannot recognize this and always imagine that we can enjoy the things we cherish, we may find that when these things drift away from us, we will experience immense pain.

For example, sometimes we hope for a promotion and a raise at work, then we work hard, but in the end, it is not you who gets promoted and receives a raise, and at that moment, you may suffer a huge blow.

Or you successfully get promoted and receive a raise, but after a while, you gradually take it for granted and start to develop new desires, bigger desires. Then we begin to complain about the hard work, that the salary is too low compared to the overtime, and that our colleagues and bosses overlook our talents.

But it is the same in interpersonal relationships. For instance, at the beginning of a romantic relationship, during Valentine's Day, people give flowers and gifts, carefully plan dates, and value each other greatly. However, a few years later, it might just be drinking tea and watching TV at home, living a mundane life. Soon after, we may start to notice various flaws in our partner, and what were once their strengths may now become weaknesses. Then we begin to fantasize about starting a new relationship with someone new.

We are like runners; every time we reach a milestone, we start aiming for a new one. As our desires grow, we can only work harder, ultimately exhausting our bodies, turning the ordinary into the extraordinary, and we may face immense mental pressure and unhappiness.

Stoics believe we need a way to stop this adaptation process and find ways to reverse it.

They propose a technique called negative visualization.

We should think of everything as a gift given to us, but not as inseparable and permanent, even partners and family will one day be separated by death.

Here’s a side note: I heard a viewpoint yesterday that, physiologically, women tend to live longer than men.

Therefore, we should treat everything we currently have as if it were our last day. This way, when you spend time with your partner, you will cherish your time together even more. You will also meet your parents more frequently. When we are with friends, we won’t be glued to our phones.

When we realize that we might lose our career and assets one day, we will cherish what we have now and better understand how to manage risks.

So, is living in the moment enough? Not really.

We should appreciate today while also thinking and planning for tomorrow and the future.

Negative visualization can help us avoid losing ourselves in the pursuit of desires. If I were to lose everything right now, at least my body is still healthy. If my situation worsens, at least I am still alive.

This practice allows us to cherish the things we take for granted even more.

We should focus our energy on what we can control and ignore what we cannot. Cherish what we already have and pursue what we can obtain.

Perhaps this is the essence of happiness.

Recommendations:

Most people do not have malicious intent; you just don’t understand this psychological concept.

I hope you don’t always think about getting rich quickly; slowly becoming wealthy is what we can achieve.

Is insisting on daily updates just a self-satisfying carnival?

Let’s talk about Clubhouse today.

Blindly trusting market research may ruin your brand.

How to quickly recover from adversity? Here’s a tool for you.

Don’t know what you’re good at? You might need to take the Gallup Strengths Assessment.

How to make the right choices? You need to know these two pieces of information.

Scan the code to follow 【Lu Canwei】, and send “self-media materials” in the background to receive two benefits for free.

1. A self-media tool kit (worth 1999 yuan).

2. An electronic version of the "2020 Wealth Calendar," containing 365 money-making tips.

Appreciation has been canceled; "Looking" is the strongest support ↘